Goldfinger

Its good, old, classic Bond but it did go quite boring about ¾ in which is a shame.

Classic Bond beginning with the theme tune, the ‘peep hole’ that follows ‘Bond’ as he walks, ‘Bond’ shoots and the screen goes red and the ‘peep hole’ ‘falls’ to the ground. I love it, it just gives it a kind of stamp saying “THIS IS JAMES BOND”.

I loved the beginning as it was almost like a James Bond movie in 5 minutes; there‘s explosions, female attraction and a big fight. I laughed at the stuffed seagull on Bond’s head as he emerged from the river/sea and loved even more that he got out of his wetsuit and into a white dress suit. That’s something that I’d only let James Bond get away with. I’d also only let Bond get away with the cheesy line “how shocking, positively shocking” when he threw a fan into a bathtub that had the bad guy in it.

I thought the opening credit were very creative and different yet still stylistically Bond; women ‘painted’ gold who had clips of the movie projected onto their bodies.

Bond gets with two women in 14 minutes of the film. Now, men would go “wahey” but if it were a woman, everyone would go “slut”. Its not fair. Oh well, once again, I only let Bond get away with being a manwhore.

I can see why the woman being painted gold is such an iconic part of the Bond movies. Its very unexpected and horrible yet beautiful.

Q! That’s what the latest Bond movies lack, Q. I know he’s not in the earlier books but whatever, we need him. However, I prefer Judi Dench as M rather than Bernard Lee.

Somehow this movie managed to make a scene involving golf quite interesting! Not even Tiger Woods and his uncontrollable penis could make golf interesting to me.

Oddjob throws the hat and it slices off a statue’s had. Niiiiiice.

I loved that the sniper was a woman. However, hated the casting of Tania Mallet who can’t act to save her freaking life. It was so painfully awful, how the hell did she get the role?!

The Austin Powers movie Goldmember unfortunately kind of ruined this movie for me as I couldn’t help but think of Goldmember whenever Goldfinger was mentioned and was disappointed when he didn’t say “I love gooooooooooold.”

I was a little disappointed with the ejector seat. He could of flown a little higher.

I finally get to see the classic laser scene that I’ve seen reenacted in so many movies and TV shows. What I loved is that if the laser was aiming anywhere else, he’d probably be as cool as a cucumber but because its aiming for his pride and joy [his willy >.<] he panics. Its funny and an oddly nice touch, especially as I think most men could relate to his panic. Then there’s the equally iconic lines: “Do you expect me to talk?” “No, Mr Bond, I expect you to die!” Oooo, the screenwriter must have had a field day with that line! Unless its in the book then well done Ian Fleming.

Pussy Galore. *eye roll*

Shaken, not stirred! I think every single person on the planet has said those three words.

You can tell it’s a Bond movie because all of the pilots in Pussy Galore’s ‘team’ were blond, ‘hot’ females who looked like they’d never done a hard days work in their life.

I thought the set was incredibly cool when Goldfinger was explaining his plan to the other evil men. The way it all twisted and turned to reveal stuff, it was pretty awesome!

I hated, hated, HATED the way everyone fell over when they were gassed. HATED IT! It was beyond awful and I don’t see how it could of possibly been acceptable to the editor or director. It was just horrible. I’ve been notified by my dad that they were supposed to because they’d swapped the gas over so they were all faking it. Well, they should of made that more clear because I totally missed the part where they explained it!

Then it gets boring… its all talk and just lame… I actually started looking at pictures of Angelina Jolie on the set of her new film with Johnny Depp. They talk and talk then gas everyone then break into this bank thing and its all done in an incredibly boring, almost lazy way. Then, to make matters worse, when the gas ‘wears off’, Bond’s fellow spy people [I think that’s what they were] just wake up and are like “oh, the bomb is in there”, not the correct response of “what the hell?! What happened?! Why was I unconscious?!” I don’t know if that’s what the gas is ‘supposed’ to do but whatever, it was dumb. Crossed out coz I know now that that was supposed to happen because it was fake gas which THEY SHOULD OF EXPLAINED BETTER!!!

I laughed when Bond throws the gold at Oddjob and it just bounces off his chest. I can imagine that happening if I threw gold at my brother.

I have a habit of counting with the timer and keeping my own record when the timer isn’t on screen so I can see it its in time [if you know what I mean] and I did it for this one when Bond is thinking about how to disarm the bomb and according to my counting, it could of gone off twice if the timer stayed at the same pace. Then all Bond does is flick a switch and it stops. Once again, it just feels lazy.

Goldfinger has a gold gun and it is preeeetty! Then he shoots the plane window and gets sucked out of the plane through the window which was utter bullcrap because there is no way in hell his fatass could of fitted through that window!

It’s a good James Bond movie until about ¾ of the way in, then it becomes utter bullcrap that even Bond can’t get away with or make it look cool.

60/212

Kate
xoxo