Batman Returns

I’m going to review this ‘live’, meaning I’ll be reviewing it as I watch it because I probably won’t have time tonight to write the review as its my brother’s birthday and we’re going out to see the 4th July fireworks.

This is the first time I’ve seen this movie so bare with me, lol. I might be shocked or ask questions that people who’ve seen the film will know about.

  • OH NO! That poor baby! Oh… wait… he’s a mental baby. Still feel bad that the parents chucked him into the river/stream/sewage system! Now, who is this baby? Is it going to be the villain of this movie? Or is it, in fact, Batman?! We don’t know! Ohhhhh, its the villain!!! I think I’d become a villain too if I had been dumped in the sewer by my [so-called] parents!
  • The music is done by none other than Danny Elfman who does practically all of Tim Burton’s films so the music alone makes me all giddy because its one of the many signs of a Burton film and Burton films are always awesome!
  • Aw! Its Christmas!! Damn it! Now I wish it were December!!!
  • Oh. My. God. Christopher Walken looks AWESOME! I just love the hair!! And his eyes are a gorgeous green!!
  • Aw! Poor Michelle Pfeiffer! Talked down to and mocked by the male staff. No wonder she turns too… or is Catwoman good? I don’t know… *shameful*
  • (more…)

    Sweeney Todd: The Demon Barber of Fleet Street

    Hmmm… I love Tim Burton’s style, Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter but… aside from that I didn’t really like it but I think that’s the Broadway writer’s fault, not the filmmakers.

  • Its all about blood, unfortunately the blood doesn’t look like blood and totally ruins it for me. I know its supposed to be a tribute to the old horror movies but it just looks crap compared to everything else. And its pink.
  • Some kid sings one line about London then suddenly Johnny Depp comes into shot and you can just sense that when this was in the cinema, a few people went “SQUEE! ITS JOHNNY DEPP!!”
  • I loved the over the top make-up. I read that its [again] a tribute to the old silent films.
  • The flashbacks are in bright, golden colours which is a great contrast to the grayish-blue of the rest of the film.
  • SNAPE! Sorry, I’m a Harry Potter nut so it was hilarious for me to see Snape sing.
  • I loved it when the camera sped around London and showed all the different depressing aspects of London. And no, Americans, it doesn’t actually look like that.
  • Helena Bonham Carter is awesome as always. The way she played this character made me think of my very good friend Sarah and I started thinking of her and that she would be absolutely perfect for the role of Mrs Lovett. Anyways, I watched this film with my mum who worked and teaches cooking and she was at her wit’s end, cringing “she’s making the pie wrong!!!!” Oh, and Helena Bonham Carter’s boobs should have their names in the credits on their own!
  • His knives are his friends. Seriously, think only works because its Johnny Depp and its Johnny Depp singing.
  • Sweeny Todd’s daughter, Joanna, looks kind of like my mate Jess. Anyways, she sings far too high pitched for me because I didn’t understand a sing word she sung.
  • ITS SACHA BARON COHEN!!! Loved him as Borat and loved him even more as Ali G [hated him as Bruno, felt like he was trying too hard]. Now, as much as I love him, the Italian accent was far too strong and I didn’t understand anything he said or sung and I didn’t know he could sing! I knew he could rap [lol]. And then he turns his accent back to his normal, British accent which was awesome! I half-expected him to suddenly go all Ali G on us. Then he dies but his death is a great death but the blood was crap.
  • Cute little ginger boy gets sentenced to hanging. Sad even if he is a ginger and gingers don’t have souls. [Damn you South Park!!]
  • Ew. Snape- I mean, the Judge wants to marry his adopted daughter. Ew. Ewwwww.
  • I loved the scene where Sweeny Todd is singing about his revenge and is talking ‘at’ people who don’t know he’s there. I don’t know why but I thought that was brilliant. Also loved when Todd and Mrs Lovett dance and she’s got a rolling pin in her hand and he’s got a knife in his hand; their roles.
  • The songs get too damn repetitive! Yes, we know her name is Joanna! GET ON WITH IT!
  • When Todd kills them, that bit is gross but when the body crashes on the floor, that’s when me and my mum hid behind a cushion.
  • Laughed at the seaside clothes, especially Todd’s.
  • Its probably in the musical but I loved that someone sent Wormtail- I mean, Snape’s- I mean, the Judge’s right-hand man to check health and safety of the baking room. In England, its all about health and safety to the point of it not helping people but pissing them off so I found it funny.
  • 69/212


    Published in: on March 11, 2010 at 9:26 PM  Comments (3)  
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    The Nightmare Before Christmas

    I hate horror movies, which is why you won’t see any in this blog so I was a little skeptic about this movie. I know its animation and clearly not real and stuff but it’s the idea that freaks me out. However, I love Corpse Bride so I thought I should at least give this original a go. I’m glad I did.

  • It has the catchy, groovy music of Danny Elfman! I know some people take the piss out of him but I love his work; his songs are so jazzy! I actually recognized the first song from somewhere, probably in an advert or some TV show.
  • I now know where the skeleton face comes from! I don’t understand why emos and goths have Jack Skellington’s face on their bags and stuff. He’s the happiest skeleton I’ve ever seen, why would the supposed depressed people want a happy skeleton on their bags? So f*****g weird…
  • How on Earth did Tim Burton come up with the idea to make a movie on how Halloween would react to Christmas?! Its so brilliantly weird which is what Burton is, I suppose. Its such an interesting concept and the way the movie portrays it feels oddly realistic even though its beyond impossible. Jack’s reaction to Christmas is so childlike as he accepts Christmas to try and fill the emptiness Halloween is giving him. When Halloween does take over Christmas, its quite funny as the Jack-In-The-Box is replaced by a Scary-Pumpkin-Head-That-Chases-You-In-A-Box and a shrunken head instead of a puppy. Also, I really liked that half-way through Jack’s ‘HO HO HO’ it turns into an evil cackle like it has always been that way! To be honest, I ended up feeling really sorry of Jack as he is so innocent and ignorant to what he’s doing. He thinks he’s bringing joy as these Halloween items are all he knows. Its unusual to feel sympathy towards a creature of Halloween, especially for me as I HATE Halloween. Hate it!!!
  • I love that in the forest, there are doors to the different holidays. I still don’t understand why Americans love St.Patrick’s Day so much and why people are so proud to be a seventh Irish but they are. It would have been nice to see how Halloween reacted to the other holidays but alas, I think that would of made the movie unnecessarily longer.
  • Stop motion animation always looks so amazing, particularly Burton’s style. It feels like the movie consists of effortless puppets which is what I thought it was the first time I saw Corpse Bride. There is nothing like it and nothing can really compare to it. Everything is disproportionate and a totally different world to our own. They may have houses but ours aren’t stick thin and leaning so far to the left that makes it look like one gust of wind would be the end of it. I think by creating a world of their own, the creators have really provided the audience with escapism which is what we go to the movies for; to escape this harsh reality. Oooo, I noticed that they even used a little soft-focus effect on the girl/female Frankenstein like in the classic movies. Though, I may be wrong and my glasses could be just dirty!
  • It’s a Christmas movie like no other. I think that because its so strange and different, that it is a movie you could watch all yeah round, not just at Christmas or Halloween. Most times if you see a Christmas movie on TV and its July, you think they’ve gotten something wrong but I really think you could get away with watching this in summer. At night, of course, don’t think it would quite work to watch it whilst sunbathing.

    Tehehe, what a weird note to finish on. Suppose you can’t help but finish on a weird note with a Burton film.



    Pee-Wee’s Big Adventure

    I know Pee-Wee is a comedy icon but I really didn’t like this film. And it sucks for me because this is the 5th film in a row that I haven’t liked that much and only wrote 4 1/2 lines of notes!

    My notes consisted of this; cool fish tank window in the first scene, such a cool idea. Pee-Wee is clearly supposed to be like a child but he’s the incredibly annoying child [a la Short Round from Indiana Jones] and I know Will Ferrell, whom I love, has done a few characters who kind of have a mind of a child but he does it in a comical way whereas Pee-Wee just makes me want to whack him round the head with a frying pan. Anyways, other notes were that the bike is pretty cool, Francis Buxton’s bath is awesome because its basically a pool, I liked it when it was all dark and Pee-Wee’s eyes were cartoon eyes just floating, the dream scenes feel very Tim Burton with them being weird and all, the kid on the set who screams “I am ALWAYS ready! I have BEEN ready since first call! I AM READY! Roll!” reminded me of my brother when he shouts during a football match and that made me smile, and the movie of the movie looks far better than the movie we just watched.

    I’m sorry, I am, I know he’s an icon but he just pissed me off and the whole movie just bored me. Here’s hoping that tomorrow’s movie will stop this pattern of crap films!



    Published in: on January 19, 2010 at 8:20 PM  Leave a Comment  
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