It’s an alright film. Not bad but not great. Alright. And its alright for reasons I didn’t think it would be.
Most of Brad Pitt’s films I’ve enjoyed and Pitt was one of the reasons I liked them. This film, however, made me despise him! He just bored me senseless. I found myself going “yeah, ok, get on with it”. I really hate these depressed, moaning vampires, they just bore me [which is probably why I‘ll never watch Twilight unless I literally have nothing else to do, like on a plane]! What happened to the vampires who had personality like Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer? Pitt did have nice hair though.
Tom Cruise, Antonio Banderas and Kirsten Dunst were the people that made this film ‘alright’. Cruise has never really made me go “ooo it has him in it, we must see it” but he was what made me start to enjoy the movie. His character was not the depressed, moaning vampire, he was the ‘embrace it’ vampire which is so much better than depressed, moaning vampire. And he had even better hair than Pitt! And its blond! I was actually finding myself very jealous of his hair. Anyway, Cruise sucking Pitt’s blood was unusually hot. In the first 15 minutes, you do think you’re watching some weird porn flick. If you want to see Tom Cruise as a kind of crossover between a vampire and a zombie, watch this. Its freaky but its strangely funny because its Tom Cruise. Then we have Kirsten Dunst before she became a drunkard and lost her acting talent. She’s brilliant in this movie and gets to wear the prettiest dresses. We then have Antonio Banderas who is the hottest vampire you will ever see. And he has lovely hair too, but his is long and black and silky smooth.
In conclusion, its an ‘alright’ film because of Tom Cruise’s hair, Antonio Banderas in all his sexy glory and Kirsten Dunst’s dresses. Those don’t really make a good movie, though, do they? I fail to see how this made Empire’s top 500 but maybe you will/do.